The Secret in her eye
On
1st June 1993 Harini
Bhattacharya had breakfast with John Wilson for the last time .For the rest of her life she would remember every detail of that morning. Planning
their first vacation, drinking tea with lemon for her nagging cough with her
usual half of sugar. The fresh berry jam she would never taste it again, The
flowers on her nightgown and especially her smile, that smile like the sunrise
blending on with the sunlight on her left cheek. He was not in mood of replying
anymore he was just seeing her like never before, his eyes said all the
secretes in him and she got up realizing that time and tide waits for none but
he sat there for a while seeing her all around and all around he didn’t care of
time he just saw her like he was feeling lucky that he had got an angle in his
life.
Colva Police station, South Goa district, Goa.
2:30pm same day “Sir from tomorrow for 3 days I will be on leave I will be
going to Bombay day after tomorrow”
“then why are you taking leave tomorrow? If
you are going on 3rd “
“Sir
I have some paper work to do regarding my property”
“Ok
then Jamir you do one thing you come at night today you do night shift now you
can go home”
“Ok sir”
(Telephone
starts ringing)
“Hello
Inspector Jai here”
“Hello
sir a guy has been stabbed very badly here at Benaulim ,Livarament road please
come fast!!!!!!”
Before
I could utter single word the phone was hung up, I got up took one of the
Constable who was on duty and left the station within no time.
When I reached the spot he was almost dead
but I made my attempt to taking him to the nearby local hospital but in his
fate it was his last day. No one on the spot could recognize the body after a
while someone came in disguise running towards me
“Sir
my name is Piyush I am friend of John is he all right?’
“Who
are you talking about?”
“Sir
that person who was stabbed, you brought just to the hospital”
“Oh….Mr.Piyush I am sorry to say that he his
no more”
He
collapsed on the ground in shock I made him to sit on the bench. Someone came
after few minutes Piyush got up and went to him seemed to be his friend, they
were in tension and I needed the clear picture of the murder which had happened
a while ago. They came to me before they could say something I interrupted them
“Piyush
please give me details about that man who is he and do you know who did this?’
“Sir
I will tell you everything later first please come with us we want your
help!!!!”
“Were?”
He
hold my hand took me with them without replying anything, after driving for few
minutes we reached a street were I saw some crowd near a house and Piyush stood
back and insisted me to go and he begged me to save Harini who was Late. John’s
wife. By clearing the crowd I made my way till the door were I saw 4 people
dragging Harini and she was screaming “no no no!!!!!!”. When I entered inside
one of the guy came to me ordering me to go out and he even pushed me back,
when I just showed them my rewalwer they moved out, actually I was thinking of
arresting them but they were 4 and they were like giants and moreover I didn’t
had any Complaint to even investigate, piyush who was hiding outside don’t know
why? came running after when they left, I was trying to figure out what is
happening but couldn’t, When she saw Piyush she hugged him crying loudly “Its
over, its over Piyush!!!” and he tried a lot to make her clam which was
impossible .
“Sir
we need to go to the safe place!!!”
“Ok
lets go to our home, its bit safer and lonely”
First we went to hospital to take the body
and to bury it, after the funeral we came back to our home and time was around
7:00 pm evening till then I had never asked anything about her or him till then
I was bit patient because I could understand the situation. After having a cup
of tea Piyush and I went for a long walk leaving her alone in the house and he
started to give me the clear picture of what had actually happened.
“Sir
me and Harini are from a place called Pali it is at Uttarpradesh and ours is an Orthodox family. It’s a place were people have more
fear than faith on God, there more than love and emotions, rules and
regulations exists, Harini is from Bhattacharya family they are like the royal family
in that area they are very popular all our India In carrying out Spiritual
events like Pooja,Hooma etc. Harini after a lot of arguments she was allowed to
study her degree were there is restriction that none of the women are not
allowed to go out of their house, She was fed up seeing all there family
Cultures traditions which she didn’t had belief in it. Meanwhile she met John
who she fell in love with she liked him because he was living his life and he
was doing what he liked to do he had freedom that’s what she wanted. Being in a
orthodox family we will never get freedom, I also belong from the same place and
same family, I am her cousin. I helped them to escape from Pali to goa and I
work here, since John was Photographer and he was quite famous to find a job
for him was easy. I was knowing that they would be searching for Harini but I
don’t know how they got to know and I never imagined that they would even kill
John. The 4 men you saw at her house were sent by Harini’s father so I didn’t
enter when they were in the house and they don’t know that I am helping them
and I cant give complaint and also you cant do anything because they have high
influence, as per my guess they will be coming with our MLA by tomorrow and he
will order you to handover Harini to them.
“But
now john is not there its better for her to go home right?”
“Home!!!!
its hell Jai, now if she go there do you know what they will do? she has to
wear a white saree and she should be in
home all her life, she will be treated like slave in her own house so called
Widow”
“Oh
my god!!! Now what you are thinking of doing?”
“From
tomorrow they will start searching for her, somehow I should take her to
Bombay, One of her friend lives in Germany, I will send her there so that she
can live in peace”
“
But if they see you with her they will not leave you and how can you take her
if they are searching?, and also I think by know they are suspicious about you
that you are helping them and even they may call you or those men may come to
your home do one thing today at 10:00 there is train you leave today
tomorrow night one of my collegue is
going to Bombay and also he is Muslim I
will send her with him saying his wife so that she can wear “Burkha”( Islamic women
wear a black dress covers whole body) and they cant even find her”
“Perfect!!!!
I will go tomorrow and make all the
arrangements for passport,Thank you sir for the help.”
“Its
ok you just take care of her”
We went home he convinced her by explaining
everything she was sitting like dumb and deaf, I had never seen anyone like
that my heart started pounding for her, I felt like to fight against to all
those people and give justice to her, but I know it was impossible and I was
doing my best. I sent an message to Jamir to come and meet me at my house, he
came after 15 minutes and I explained him everything, at first he hesitated to
help as he was afraid of them but somehow I convinced him.
“Sir
but why you are taking so interest in this case? I don’t understand the reason,
just leave her to her parents.”
“Jamir
I like to see the bird to fly in sky
instead of being in cage”
“Sir
but its not yours, it doesn’t matter for you whether its flying or in cage”
“That
only my mind knows, my heart doesn’t know that”
“Whatever,
sir the Train is at 5:00 at evening I will come by 4, I have to take her not
only by hiding her from them but also by my wife, if she come to know about
this she will kill me, I have kept the Burkha on the table please be ready in
time”
“k,
thank you Jamir, u take leave now bye”
I entered the house which was quiet
very quiet I usually liked this peace but today it was annoying me, I went to
the room were she was resting
“Come
lets have dinner?”
She
didn’t reply I sat beside her and waited for her reply after sometime
“Don’t
wait for me, I am not hungry anymore”
“But
if……”
“please
don’t force me for anything, please leave me alone”
I
left her as I could see her anger on me don’t know why? And I too was not
hungry and I slept.
June
2nd 1993,Woke up at 5:00 am that night was horrible I was not able
to sleep but why? Is that because of her if it is, why I should be in disguise?
whole night I have been thinking but whenever I could imagine her eyes would
appear first and I don’t know why it was so attractive I don’t know why it made
my heart so weak which was strong enough in facing all obstacles and Why I was
hearing the sound “Harini Harini” all around me. All these questions kept me in
disguise.
Sitting on my bed I was just imagining how
this day would go but when it would conclude that atlast she would leave and go
wherever she want my mind would feel relaxed but my heart I could feel some
pain in it what kind of pain is that? I never go to know, after a while I heard
a sound like wooden stool falling down I just went to see wondering any cat had
entered inside my house, but for my bad she was trying to hang herself and
already she had kicked the stool which fell down. I ran towards her Held her
leg tightly lifted her up for a while I was in complete shock somehow I dragged
the stool gave the support untied the saree which she had used for hanging I
took her to the bed she sat gave her cup
of water because she had a long cough after when I untied her.
I didn’t speak a word don’t know
what to speak? I was in shock more than her. But I made my mind and I wanted to
eliminate such thoughts from her mind.
“If
you wanted to be dead, you would have gone with them why you were screaming no
no no!!!!!!!!!!!!”
“they
would have also not allowed me like you did now”
“oh
great so you are comparing me with them”
“Whatever
I am not in a mood in arguing with you”
“
You better be quiet and listen here, if you think that by hanging yourself you
will get rid of all these thing and you can go happily, Coward you are, if you
didn’t had that dare why you married John? Do you think he would be happy?
“He
is not there and I am nothing without him what am I supposed to do? And by the
way who the hell are you to tell me all these things?”
“I
am that person who brought you from the darkness, I am that person who lifted
you when you wanted to go down, I cant give back John but can give you hope, I
want you to live your life. Go faraway, stay away from all the obstacles just
you, your breath, your heartbeat. You just believe, believe in yourself, one
day you will achieve something and show them how to live, how to be alive, if
you die you will be just an example, if you live you will be the inspiration
and Choice is yours.”
Just
came out entered the kitchen prepared the breakfast and by that time I had
already got an call from our MLA at the station, as Piyush had said they had
gone to our MLA for the help, I got ready quickly to go station, she was still
in grief and was trying stop her tears but couldn’t.
“Breakfast
is ready I will go to the station and I will return back early”, she didn’t
reply
“See
I don’t know to say things twice and still you have option, breakfast is at the
kitchen, rope is at the attic”
I attended the call he insisted me to
help them in finding Harini and also to close the case of John saying it as a
accident. I agreed to his order and did whatever was supposed to be done. Those
4 giants had already come to the police station, they were seeing me like they
would kill me if I was not a police.
“I
received the call I was not knowing you were our MLA’s men, I don’t know were
she is but I will help you in finding her”
“No
need to, you just don’t interrupt we will do everything”
“k”
They
left and somewhere I was getting a feeling that they would find her, moreover I
had spoken very harsh with Harini what would she do, will she hang again? Fear
in my heart grew like an fire, I just handover the files to one of my assistant
and ran towards my home hoping that she is safe why did I talk in that way what
had happened to me? What is happening? What is going to happen? Fear had
covered my whole body, I was just running with the hope.
I reached home after running for
10mins, I stood near the door, I didn’t see anyone went to the living room Tv
was on with high volume, entered the room she was not there my heart beat
started to rise came to the living room I got a kind of smell from kitchen, I
just stepped to kitchen it was a smell of cury which she was prepairing for
lunch and I was relaxed, happy that she had changed her mind. She saw me and
came out of the kitchen.
“
Did you eat your breakfast?”
“Hmmmm”
“how
was it?”
“Good,
little bit salty but it tasted good”
“Thank
you”
“For
what?”
“For
entering into the kitchen I mean for changing your mind and sorry for being
harsh, I shouldn’t have been’
“ If John was there he would have also done
the same thing, we usually chat in the same way like it happened in the
morning, I was very angry but don’t know on whom to show you were the only
choice but you replied like him each word you said were seemed like I was
hearing from him hope is the only thing I have now and you’re the only person
who has special place in my heart now”
“But
I am not John”
“No you are not, you are something precious
like him for me, I will not forget what you have done but I will not say thank
you its not enough for what you have done but one day I will come back for you
may be I can repay or not for what you have done, but for sure I will be there
for you”
“Even
I don’t know how I would react If I was in your place, I am happy that you have
gathered all the courage. If you cry you will forget him, he should be with you
don’t let him go in terms of tears”
She
had decided this life of her should have an happy ending no matter whatever
happens, to stop the pain inside her she expressed everything whatever was in
her mind and somehow felt relax she spoke non stop I never had conversation
like that before, she even asked me about my place, parents.
We had lunch a comic show was running on the
TV, finally I saw a smile on her face.
“You
know what, among the women whom I have seen in my life your 2nd most
beautiful”
“Who
is first?”
“you
only but when you smile”.
We
had lunch she took all the plates and pans to clean it but I stopped her “no
what are you doing ? I will do it “
“Let
me do Jai, From tomorrow I wont be there”
“k
lets both do it!!!!”
She
was leaning her head Concentrated on plates I was standing next to her I could
see her eyes filled with tears, with power of hypnotization I just stood
staring at her without noticing that she was feeling uncomfortable of that
after a while she turned towards me with tears rolling down, I made my hand
forward to touch her eyes and rub her tears, she couldn’t control her pain
hugged me, don’t know why tears started rolling from my eyes too.
“
I had said no if you cry you will forget him”
“Now
i didn’t cry for him, I am going Jai I am going today I wanted to go by taking
everything from here but I cant I have to leave my heart here”
Time was already 4:00pm and she got ready,
Jamir came at 4:15 we went to the station, I took her luggage and entered the
station but for my fate those 4 giants were already in station, one of the man
came near me and enquired about the bag and me and I explained them that Jamir
and his wife are going and I just came to send, I didn’t show any fear replied very boldly.
She
was on Burkha but was very fear of them , She was shivering Jamir looked bit
tensed, but I was in grief just waiting for the train, train will be half an
hour late sation master came and informed, she got bit more tensed, they were
waiting whether she could come for that train, Jamir was just observing me,
mine red eyes, pale face, uncommon behavior.
“Sir what has happened to you? You don’t
look tensed but you seem like you have lost something and your feeling very bad
for it”
“A
single day had changed her life the next day changed mine we were together just
for one day I had many kind of feelings on her sympathy, pity, respect but when
I see her eyes my heart instead of its beat it would jump like it wanted to
come out from my chest and lie on my hand.”
“Sir
what are you saying? What has happened to you, the train will be coming now by
fifteen minutes and she will go please remove those thoughts from your mind, do
you think they will leave you they don’t hesitate in doing another murder.”
“even
she too feels the same”
“What
do you mean?”
“She
likes me, She want to come near me but she won’t, She want to hug me tight and
cry for once but she won’t, She want to live in my heart but she wont , She
will regret whole her life not being without me but she will never come to me,
she has made up her mind to be with memories, but I am not like her I don’t
know how to live without true love.”
Train
arrived five minutes early, those 4 giants entered the train and searched for
her everywhere Jamir and harini boarded the train, I wanted to talk to Harini
atleast say proper goodbye but they were there if I went near and talk to her
they would easily find out, and I don’t wanted to make the last mistake I
waited for them to go, but they keep on searching I was feeling like to shoot
them. She sat in the window seat and was seeing me for next 5 minutes we spoke
through our eyes, Train was started and was about to leave and I was
controlling my tears, they came out of the train in anger because they had not
found her, wheels started rotating and train was slowly moving and I was
waiting for them to get out of the station, they gave the one photocopy of
Harini to station master and ordered him to inform if he would see her, and
went outside at last turned back towards me with the suspicious look and I gave
them the fake smile.
They
had left, not only they even train had left almost platform, I ran faster and
faster like the fastest men in this world but train was more faster than me,
but not faster than my emotions which flew in light speed and reached her she
came near the door she was seeing me like never before she realized something
tears rolled on her cheeks. She made her hand forward I tried to reach her
somehow I could make it I touched her hand she tried to hold it very tightly
and she whispered my name “Jai” but for
my fate a pole came in my way and I was hit by that I fell down, the train
moved it seemed like an Vampire taking my angel, she waved her hand and she was
standing near the door till she could see me and I could see her.
The train moved more faster
And she was no longer
My heart beat was not proper
She came like lightning and went so sooner
But her eyes said all the Secrets in her
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